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Saturday, November 1st, 2003
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9:08 pm
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I went trick-or-treating yesterday, I was dressed up as a human and I thought my costume was quite realistic albeit uncomfortable. I just do not understand the concept of genitals, us boogeymen procreate simply by licking an orifice located on the bottom of the feet of boogeywoman. Anyway, after knocking on the door of whichever house I was trick-or-treating at, the homeowners would tell me that I did not deserve a treat because I was not dressed up, and plus I was one ugly human. I responded to this accusation by removing my fake human skin and devouring them accordingly. I then would take their bowl of candy, dump it into my My Little Pony pillow case (the one good show humans have created), leave a note for their immediate family saying "I ate your mother - Love, the Boogeyman," and run off into the darkness. Although I received plenty of candy this way, the looks of disgust I received as opposed to the sheer terror I accustomed to began to get on my nerves. My new plan of action was to be myself, and I got even more candy this way because many believed I had a great costume, and put all the other neighborhood children to shame. If there were any kids around me when I received my treat, they would of course cry. After they finished sobbing I would swallow them whole and take their candy as well. I came home with a dumpster full of candy, and after eating about 50 pounds of candy I have yet to encounter a razor blade, which really disappoints me as I find them quite tasty.
So now I have a tummy ache and need a nap.
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 1st, 2003
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4:06 pm
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| Sunday, December 1st, 2002
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5:28 pm
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I have just devoured a good portion of Good Charlotte, they sadly did not appeal much to my senses.
I am off to go eat your parents, have a good, horror-and-death-filled holiday season, or I may have to intervene ;)
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, August 2nd, 2002
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2:37 pm
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I am still around. I became inactive to make you think I died and went to Boogeyman Heaven. I am going to go lurk in the shadows now, goodbye. I will be around later to eat you and your young.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 7th, 2002
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8:03 pm
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All of the people that are on my friends list in my User Info and have a slash through their name are people I have eaten. You will all soon join this list, and like it.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 29th, 2002
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6:44 pm
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I am going to eat everyone involved with Charlie's Angels as soon as possible because this movie is torturous to watch and it is just wrong that they are making a sequel.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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3:51 am
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I am bored with you putrid humans, I think I am going to move on to terrorizing small dogs if things don't get better. The taste of humans has drastically declined in the past few years, and I also think that us Boogeymen might have to make your species extinct soon.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 28th, 2002
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1:05 am - Just to clarify...
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I do not eat people in that way if you know what I mean, so all of you stop getting ideas. I only eat very lucky Boogeywomen in that way. ;)
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 27th, 2002
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4:31 pm
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I notice that many people find it quite strange for a Boogeyman like myself to be interested in knitting. It's a little known fact that us Boogeymen are master knitters. We are trained at a very young age by attractive senior citizen women who have no next of kin or friends whom we kidnap and then force to teach the Boogeymen in training the way of the needle.
Here is one of our recent Boogeyman Knitting Mentors, Mrs. Bailey. She enjoyed working with us, she felt like she had friends. That made it somewhat difficult to dispose of her, but we still ate her anyway when she got too old and feeble and kept trying to put on Murder She Wrote.
Now I am off to rest up before going to your houses, hiding under your beds and then consuming you in your sleep.
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(comment on this)
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1:04 pm
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I am slightly disturbed that I am not the only person in this LiveJournal community interested in "eating people."
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 26th, 2002
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2:57 am
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